California

You assholes...just let the gays get married...goddammit...









Look at that...its 2 chicks making out...how can you hate on that?

Pull your head out of your ass California.

January, February and March

The gentlemen of PYHOOYA all live, work and play north of the Mason-Dixon. This is because the South sucks, but that’s a post for another day. (I refuse to acknowledge this.) But the problem with living in the Second City is that we have Winter.

It’s not that Winter is inherently bad, sometimes it’s almost refreshing for the temperature to drop. Until about…fucking January, when it’s time for Winter to go back from whence it came. I could live in an eternal cycle of April-December. Think about it, you shake off the hangover from New Year’s and greet a beautiful Spring day knowing that the weather will continue to get warmer. About September or so, when you are getting sick of sweating like the Fail Bus Driver, it starts to cool off. It gets all Fall-ish in time for you to be outdoorsy in the sense of drinking and tailgating outside. Then it gets cold and snowy just in time for Christmas and New Year’s. Perfect.

Now I know we just endorsed Obama, but after that straight up beat down that he just threw on McCain, it’s no longer “cool,” “hip” and “progressive” to support Obama. I’m done with him. I’m running for president against him in 2012.

My platform? Building a dome around the United States. The people will control the weather. We can put it to a vote in every major metropolitan area (except Denver and Hawaii which stay snowy and tropical respectively). Chicago also doesn’t get a vote. I’m keeping it on the ol’ April-December schedule. Will the dome fuck up Canada's weather? Who the fuck cares, EH?

What’s that you say? Speech?

Hello, fellow American. This you should vote me. I leave power good. Thank you. Thank you. If you vote me, I'm hot. Weather, it’ll be better. Sun. The democratic vote for me is right thing to do, America, so do.



Pull your head out of your ass January, February and March.

Identity Thiefs

Ok...I should really be studying right now...because I have tons of shit to do. But fuck that. Its 5:28 PM on election day, I'm tweaked out on caffeine, and I want to go get some beers so work is gonna have to wait. Also, in the interest of transparency this is a post for someone else (you know who you are), and while that's not usually how we do things here, I'm making an exception because I fucking want to...suck it. One more thing...I must apologize for my prolonged absence from the blogosphere (I feel dirty for having just used that word) but I've been super busy...school thinks I should pay attention to it instead of this bastion of hate. Sadly, while I'd like to ignore school, that wouldn't be a terribly good choice, so the blog loses...sorry. Anyway...on to the hate! (today it's in special street form)

Identity thiefs. You a bunch of bitches, ya'll some snitches. How you gon' steal another person's social security number. That ain't baller. I mean how you gon' try an' apply fo a bunch of credit cards an' shit wit' someone else shit? Is that hot? That's what's goin' down on the street?? Nah son, you ain't gon' play them like that. I'll straight stab a foo' fo that. If you ain't stop doin' that shit I'ma fuck yo ass up. I'm sayin' frosty, I'm talkin' spoon.

Alright that's enough of that...I can't be articulate when I talk like that. Seriously though. You're that much of a piece of shit that you have to steal someone else's identity, then use that information to ultimately steal money, or merchandise? That's some real amateur hour shit. That means you aren't a good enough thief to steal cool shit. You have to steal something small and relatively easy to get a hold of then use that to commit your crime while simultaneously fucking up someone else's life. Just man the fuck up and steal a plasma or a car if you're gonna be a dirtbag thief. Don't be a punk and do this Busch league shit.

















Pull your head out of your ass Identity Thiefs.

PYHOOYA Endorses: Barack Obama

Generally, we here at PYHOOYA like to stay above the fray and hate on everyone regardless of, well, pretty much everything. I've decided to breach decorum. In the true spirit of the United States' history of democratic elections, I've decided to very undemocratically endorse Barack Obama on behalf of all of us here at PYHOOYA. Some of the writers may disagree, but fuck them, this is my post.

Unlike, John McCain and his "Country First" slogan, Obama has never and would never subject the United States to the possibility of Sarah Palin as President. Obama has consistently opposed the war in Iraq, championed universal health care, pledged tax cuts to those who need it, vowed to wean America off of oil and onto green energy, and supported civil rights across the board.

FULL DISCLOSURE: I toured the Obama campaign's headquarters today. What struck me was the number of enthusiastic young people working in the office. Based on nothing, I can safely state with 100% certainty that McCain's got nothing on them. Obama has consistently fought for the little man, be it as a community organizer (unlike the pit bull with lipstick, I see this as a good thing), as an Illinois State Senator (he pushed legislation through to videotape all homicide interrogations by police officers so atrocities like John Burge's torture regime never happen again), as a Senator he increased the transparency of the federal government (admittedly with McCain as a co-sponsor), and as a presidential candidate he built his campaign around an army of small donors, refusing to take donations from lobbyists or PACs.

Obama is a former Harvard Law Review editor (and the first black editor at that) and a former constitutional law professor at the University of Chicago. He has the intelligence, the patience and the temperament to lead our nation through the upcoming steep uphill climb out of George Bush's gutter. The world supports Obama.

If Obama has one weakness (besides being too awesome) it is his foreign policy. To shore up this weakness, he made the responsible VP pick of Joe Biden, the current chairman of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee.

In short, vote Obama. Don't stay home thinking this is in the bag. I'll be at the rally tomorrow, celebrating an America win.

YES WE CAN!