Dumb People

So according to this poll 13% of America thinks the country is "generally headed in the right direction." I don't even know what to do with that or where to start...credit crisis/housing bubble perhaps? That's a good start. How about Vietnam 2.0? Yeah that's awesome. I could go on but I might vomit with rage so I'm gonna stop.



Pull your head out of your ass Dumb People.

Cranberry Sauce

Look at it. Easily the most delicious of all Thanksgiving foods. I love it from a can; it's like Cranberry Jello. I could eat my body weight in Cranberry Sauce.

So why the hell don't we all eat it outside of the fourth Thursday of November? Because we are failures. All of us. Cranberry Sauce needs to get it's act together and make itself a staple in my daily diet.

Pull your head out of your ass Cranberry Sauce, I want to eat you more.

Ted Stevens

You were indicted today on seven counts of...you know what it doesn't fucking matter. You're a corrupt bastard. I mean yeah you're old as shit so I'll overlook your internet as a series of tubes comment, but the bridge to nowhere? Really? Weak dude. How did you think that was gonna go? Hey Uncle Sam can I have $320 million to build a bridge to connect 8,900 people? Oh sure Ted, would you like a hand job too? Seriously dude, you suck. Enjoy federal pound you in the ass prison the butt farm.

Pull your head out of your ass Stevens.

IT'S NOT A TUMOR!!

Tuesday, McCain eased worries about his dermatological health by announcing that some fucked up lesion on his skin was not a tumor. Does he feel good about that? Sure. Does he feel like he runs a higher risk of getting skin cancer because his dad was in the Navy? Sure... McCain commented: "As you know my dad was in the Navy and we lived in places where I was at the beach a lot, and I'm paying the price for that."

Well douchebag, we all have to pay a price for the freedoms that we enjoy, and the price for you is skin cancer. Pull your head out of your ass McCain.

John McCain

We here at PYHOOYA are all young, fairly intelligent gentlemen with some semblance of a social conscience. As such, we believe in the power of Obama (all except the Fail Bus Driver, who favors the status quo, hates poor people, and believes in the almighty power of Walmart to run our nation).

Coming from this blatantly biased viewpoint, it is time to get political up in this beast and call out Big Daddy John McCain.

McCain recently referenced the border between Iraq and Pakistan. Here is that border.



You're running on a foreign policy platform you geriatric clown. Have that daughter of yours get you a globe for your centennial.

Pull your head out of your ass McCain.

NL West

The current standings for the NL West are as follows.



Is this a joke? One team above .500 (barely)? Bill Simmons used to call the National League Quadruple A baseball. I'm calling the NL West the straight Bush League. That is awful. I'm legitimately embarrassed for these failures. And don't even get me started on the Padres. A team of drunk midgets could go 42-65.

Pull your head out of your ass NL West.

Levar Burton

That's what's hot on the streets? Reading books?



Pull your head out of your ass Burton.

Huta

We're gonna go off-topic for a while (the general topic being douchebags we don't know), and talk about a douchebag we know. We here at PYHOOYA share any and all revenue that comes in equally. Our 3rd Quarter projection for 2008 is $0. However, Huta is not pulling his weight. Put a fucking post up.



Pull your head out of your ass Huta.

Update: Huta is currently attempting to be quite sketchy. It will not work out for him.

To reiterate, pull your head out of your ass Huta.

Prada

This is a model? No. This is DJ Qualls.



Pull your head out of your ass Prada.

Tennis Ball Haircut Guy

You a tennis fan? No? Just a fan of looking like a dickface? OK, got it. Don't have kids.



Pull your head out of your ass guy.

China Olympics (preemptive strike)

Hey China, sweet air, it looks like there's some broke ass blizzard going on there except that guy is in short sleeves. Why do you think that is? Do you think it's because its June July? Yeah I bet that's why. But yeah your Olympics is gonna be off the hook. Nobody's gonna get sick from your toxic air at all. Totally. We here at PYHOOYA are very much looking forward to it.



Pull your head out of your ass China.

Comcast

2500? Word?



Pull your head out of your ass Comcast.

Devin Hester

Devin Hester on why he deserved a new contract from the Chicago Bears...

"You should pay me like I'm one of a kind. It's like dating a girl. When you find somebody who is real special, you're going to do whatever it takes to keep her. You might cut back on what you're giving your mom to give to her. And that's how I feel they should treat me."

Booooooo



Pull your head out of your ass Hester.

Law Enforcement

Cops banging hookers.

Vice Officers can have sex as part of their job. I swear to god.



Pull your head out of your ass law enforcement.

Matthew Broderick

You were this



Then you married this



Pull your head out of your ass Broderick

DMX

Barack Obama

You seriously don't know his name? Have you been living under a fucking rock?



Pull your head out of your ass DMX.

Bret Michaels

Is that bulge a joke? I've seen John Holmes, and you sir are no John Holmes.



Pull your head out of your ass Michaels.

Anthony Kiedis Circa '96

Was there a mirror shortage in the late 90's?



Pull your head out for your ass Kiedis.

Steve Guttenberg

You were in Short Circuit, which put you up a notch in my book. You were at notch 1. Then you did this:



Pull your head out of your ass Guttenberg.